Sunday, December 15, 2013

Brief Remarks On [The Anniversary of] The Death of Christopher Hitchens

My first exposure to Hitchens was in 2003 or '04 when I read his review of "Fahrenheit 9/11" in (I think it was) Slate. It was a very negative review. I was conservative back then, so I agreed with it, or at least wanted to agree with it (even though, to this day, I just haven't gotten around to watching that movie). But then I read his column from the week right before that, in which he very harshly criticized Ronald Reagan about Iran/Contra. He basically said that Reagan was either a liar or an idiot. After reading both articles, I thought, "Wow, this guy doesn't care who he pisses off!" And even back then, I could really respect that.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

I'm in ur Threadz, Translatin' ur Tweets

I am posting this blog entry in my "official" capacity as Catie Wayne's (aka Boxxy) self-appointed (but Catie-approved) tweet-translator cum dickpic-screener. I'm posting it here because it wouldn't have fit on twitter. obviously.

I have a dedicated tab on google chrome for twitter:search:"catiewayne", (which is totally not weird or creepy at all... >_>) This also picks up tweets that mention her name but aren't sent to "@catiewayne". I'm only mentioning this because the tweet that mentioned Ms. Wayne, which is in the thread referenced in the next paragraph, mentioned her by name, [and] not by her twitter username, so it's likely that she hasn't seen the thread [yet].

The following is [my attempt at] a translation of this twitter thread, originally in Portuguese1. [Note: I requested permission from the OPs to translate this thread so that Ms. Wayne could read it, but as of "press time," they have not responded.] [201312030000 edit1: As you can see in the comments, I actually did get permission later.]


lit = "literally"
(?) = preceding word is my best guess, but I could be wrong
[words] = interpolation or "paraphrase"
[] = words I left out because there was no need to translate them

Again, this is the original thread.
And this is my [attempt at a] translation:
GV: I have a video that you'd love to see
JC: aiiiii, show me!!!!
GV: [video]
JC: hahahaha2 she's funny, clumsy, and looks like Boxxy, but I don't know if it was very good [or not], eh? [].
GV: "looks like Boxxy." She's [the one] who performs [lit: does] the Boxxy character(?) lol
JC: That's not true...
GV: Yes it is, search [for "you see,"][*] lol. Her name is [], Boxxy is one of her characters, she [has now] made new Boxxy videos as well.

[*] [201312030000 edit2: The original tweet said, "pesquisa pra você ver," which, if translated literally, would mean "[s/he] looks for/investigates[**] for you to see," which doesn't make any sense. :-P Therefore, I had to interpolate this into something that did make sense, so I thought that GV might have been talking about the "famous" Boxxy "songification" video, "You See" by Danielson742. But after consulting with GV, I was informed that (in Portuguese, at least), song titles are generally not translated, and that a more "idiomatic" translation would be something like, "look it up, so you can see for yourself."]

[**] [201312030000 meta-edit: the proper conjugation for "pesquisar" in the imperative mood with "você" as a subject would be "pesquise,"[***] so you can see how that would have thrown me off. :-P]

[***] [201312030100 meta-meta-edit: "pesquisa," however, IS the proper conjugation for the 3rd person singular indicative or the imperative with "tu"[****] as the subject.]

[****] [201312030100 meta-meta-meta-edit: No one uses "tu" in Portuguese anymore. {Not in Brazil, anyway,[*****] although I don't know if this is also the case in Portugal.}]

[*****] [201312091050 post-hyper-meta-edit: GV did tell me, "No one uses 'tu' anymore," but I had forgotten the context of that statement (quoted here):
No one uses "tu" anymore
people from the south region use it
but they do not use it properly
they do not... conjugate? xD as "tu"
they say tu but conjugate as "você"
so yeah, tu is not really important
Well, I guess that's all for now. I really don't know what else to say. This blog entry was meant more as a language exercise and a service to a "friend" rather than a "real" blog "article." I would welcome anyone who knows Portuguese better than I do to make any necessary corrections. Thanks. :D

1I don't speak Portuguese, but I have studied the language to some extent by completing some exercises in a small workbook. I consider Portuguese [to be] the most beautiful language, but Italian is pretty close. I actually have a better knowledge of Spanish (3rd place!), but I'm not fluent in that language, either.
2the Portuguese language has no /h/ phoneme (i.e., the voiceless glottal fricative) nor any letter representing the /h/ phoneme. Its letter "h" is silent, as it is in most other Romance languages. For example, I find it funny that Spanish has three letters that can represent /h/ (j, g, & x), but the actual letter "h" is silent! I was not a linguistics major, but I think about this shit ALL. THE. TIME.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Taylor Swift, The Westboro Baptist Church, and Blaming the Victim

Hello there, dear readers! Before we begin, some notes:

  • Yes! I’m back! I’m fucking back! Don’t expect a post/article from me every day or week, though. Maybe every month might be moar realistic.

  • Do you like reading articles that contain a shitload of [square brackets]!? What about “scare quotes”? Ellipses...? If so, then you’re in luck today, my friend! [actually, this has been the case with most of my articles]

  • I had originally wanted to make this a video, because I thought that some of the jokes and stuff would have worked better spoken than read, but I ran out of time.

  • Most of the text in the square brackets was intended to make clarifications ['cause, you know how into clarification I am, and, like, it worked so well in the Amplified Bible (right?)] and was going to be inserted into the video as text on the screen, but now you’re just going to have to read all of it, instead of hearing most of it and just reading a little.

  • I’ll be calling this an “article,” because that’s what it would probably be called in a publication that was actually respected [by anyone].

OK! On to the article!

So I know this is the second straight item I’ve published on the internet [including my most recent video] in which I “talk” about people and events, and as the quote commonly [mis]attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt says: “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” But I kind of like to USE discussions of people and events as a way to END UP discussing ideas.

So Westboro Baptist Church is going to hold a protest outside the Taylor Swift concert in Kansas City on August 3rd (today? already?). In the press release announcing the protest, they call her a “proud whore.” Actually, the exact wording they use is “like a proud whore,” [which I believe is the title of a Madonna song? But, hey! I think “whores” SHOULD be proud... or at least not ashamed]. Now, as someone who has almost nothing but outright contempt for Ms. Swift [as a public figure and “artistainer,” not (necessarily) as a person], for many reasons [that have “fuck-all” to do with this], I must say that there’s probably no definition of “whore” that actually applies to her, except maybe WBC’s definition, and I don’t know what that is, exactly, because it wasn’t in their FAQs, but I would think it includes, but is not limited to, anyone who has any sex outside of marriage whatsoever, and even within marriage, presumably in any position other than missionary, or any kind of sex other than PIV, and probably, if you’re a woman, if you “dress like a slut,” whatever that means, but I could be wrong. So if that is their definition of what a “whore” is, then, and this is, of course, only slightly informed speculation, but I think it would be safe to assume that Ms. Swift would qualify for that title1, as would I, as would almost everyone over the age of 18 [and many people under that age], maybe even some people in the church itself. NTTWNBAWWI2 if she were a “whore.” Except...